Let's see who figures this one out - it's a song....
Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium, Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium ,Hey hey hey, good bye...
Let's see who figures this one out - it's a song....
Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium, Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium ,Hey hey hey, good bye...
My coworkers laugh at my jokes in in-person meetings, but never in online meetings ...
When I asked them why, they said that my jokes weren't remotely funny ....
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
A set of jumper cables walk into a bar, the bartender yells "Hey, don't try to start anything!"
Little girl age 4 is talking to her mom. She asks her mom " when you had me did you want a girl or boy?"
Mom thinks about it for a moment and answer's " Honey all I wanted was a back rub"
What do you call a Cow with "no legs"?
Ground Beef.
A hillbilly decides to go bear hunting. He throws his gun in his truck and heads off towards the mountain. After a few miles he sees a sign that reads "No Bear Left". So he turned around and went home.
Last edited by R. Pare; 06.29.22 at 4:46 PM.
Rhenium Aluminum ly
Originally Posted by R. Pare
Rhenium Aluminum ly?
...most recently sung for the Celtics and the Tampa Bay Lightning.
There is a glitch in the continuum...
Nope.
Gaseous H2O
Nope.
Hint: sodium is “Na”…
Tony Opheim
'02 Swift 014.a (1600cc Toyota, 1732cc Toyota, and 2.0L MZR Mazda )
Must be too many way too young guys here to not figure that one out!
Too young to know or too old to remember. Here's a lip sync by the original band:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsaTElBljOE
There is a glitch in the continuum...
The latest Webb Telescope photo...
Ahem..."Gaseous H2O" = Steam, ie. the band who originally recorded the song to which you're referring?
Yes, but the question was about the lyrics of the song, not the band.
No worries...I must've been thinking too hard, lol! Anyway, not a song but another conundrum:
"Sir Oliver's horse came ambling home to Oliver's aunt."
Short for some math. I'll let someone else detail it.
Back in high school we used to say, "Oscar Has A Hard On, Alice". It was one of those all boys schools.
Last edited by bob darcey; 07.17.22 at 4:36 AM.
There is a glitch in the continuum...
Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery. Daffy turns to Elmer and asks, "is this whiskey." Elmer replies, "yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank".
Four men enter a tunnel.
The pessimist sees nothing but a dark, gloomy, foreboding place.
The optimist hopefully sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
The realist sees the headlight of the locomotive.
The train driver sees three morons on the track.
Did you ever stop and wonder.......
*Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
*Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
*Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
*Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
*Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
*Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
*What is the speed of darkness?
*Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
*If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
*Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
*Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
*Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
*Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
*Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
*Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
*If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
*Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
*Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
*Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
No, the speed of the elevator depends on how hard the button is pushed. It is kinda like a gun where the harder you pull the trigger, the farther the bullet goes.
*If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
I was going to do something fast, but decided to take my time.
But don't do it at exactly .5 slower - then you are doing it half fast.
ChrisZ
It's a 5-minute walk from my house to the bar.
But it's a 45-minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.
What does a Minnesota Vikings playoff game have in common with a Billy Graham revival?
-They're the only two places where you can hear sixty-thousand people screaming "Jesus Christ!".
What is the most popular bumper sticker in Minnesota?
- Go Twins! (take the Vikings with you).
What do the road signs read on the way out of Minneapolis?
-Interstate 35 / Vikings 3
Little girl age 4 is talking to her mom. She asks her mom " when you had me did you want a girl or boy?"
Mom thinks about it for a moment and answer's " Honey, all I wanted was a back rub"
The first time I heard the Billy Graham joke was before the Elway era with the Broncos.
It went:
What do the Broncos and Billy Graham have in common?
They can get 75,000 people in Mile High Stadium to leap to their feet and and shout Jesus Christ.
Vince Evans when he was at USC. There was also a bumper sticker "Save USC football, shoot Vince Evans." Then John Robinson took him in hand and things got better.
Caldwell D9B - Sold
Crossle' 30/32/45 Mongrel - Sold
RF94 Monoshock - here goes nothin'
Wellm this is one way to do it....
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8(isn't she a treasure)
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7( Love her )
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 favourite is .......
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
Forget Newton and Galileo. Here are the real laws of nature:
1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5.Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
Last edited by R. Pare; 08.23.22 at 10:22 AM.
Bad one
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear! XD
Another one
You know what the loudest car you can get is?
A trumpet.
I just learned that Albert Einstein was a real person. I always thought he was a theoretical physicist.
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, What’s your favorite type of music? The other says, I’m a big metal fan
Did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed some space.
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so, I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing."
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"
At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case.
Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.
Last edited by R. Pare; 09.23.22 at 9:48 AM.
Last edited by R. Pare; 09.28.22 at 1:54 PM.
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