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  1. #281
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    Awesome !!! Pirate Racing ! Johnny Depp has got to play the lead
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  2. #282
    Contributing Member TimH's Avatar
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    =Brian331;431423Oh....and I would have worn my helmet for the pic but Coop told me to never use it again, why temp fate?
    Last edited by TimH; 06.25.14 at 2:51 PM.
    Caldwell D9B - Sold
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    RF94 Monoshock - here goes nothin'

  3. #283
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys......

    I did get a chance to go visit LRP again last weekend. I wanted to see and thank everyone who did help to save my life. I also wanted to meet Sarah Bonnier for the first time face to face. Sarah first sent me a message on Facebook after my accident to see how I was doing, and she is sweet enough to always follow up on my condition healing!!

    My overall sight is improving too. I can actually take off my eye patch and get things to focus, but it's still healing. My eye doctor told me that my vision may continue to heal up to 6 months after my operation, so being my last operation was about 2 months ago, it's now just a waiting game! He also told me that on a scale 1 to 10 on hard the surgery would be, that mine was a 10. That is why my surgery was borderline if he'd even try to fix/repair it. Worse case I may need to go in for a third operation/surgery if need be


    In one of the pictures I'm posting I'm standing with one of the first ladies who responded. We are actually standing right in front of the wall I crashed into. The other picture is of me standing next to the lovely Sarah I believe she works for the F1600/2000 series helping out Mr Rand with things?! It was also nice to see Mike Rand again too!


    Brian
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  4. #284
    Contributing Member swiftdrivr's Avatar
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    Great to see you doing so well!
    Jim
    Swift DB-1
    Talent usually ends up in front, but fun goes from the front of the grid all the way to the back.

  5. #285
    Senior Member Amon's Avatar
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    Two fine ladies! Glad to see you're doing well!

  6. #286
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    You're living proof that miracles do happen !

    Just for laughs, you should find a Pirate's Hat to go with that eye patch

    Seriously. ... Very impressed with your recovery & attitude !!!
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  7. #287
    Senior Member sauce_racer's Avatar
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    You look great Brian! I'm so glad you're doing well and that you were able to see those two women and the LRP.


    Best wishes to you!

    -Meg Sauce
    SowDiv FF10

  8. #288
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    guys....


    Going back to LRP is strange in a way. I can only describe it like being a celebrity for all the wrong reasons! It is really nice however to be able to see the peoples face light up by me just walking in the room, or just being able to walk in general!


    I seriously looked at buying myself a pirates hat, but I haven't yet! Between all the girls that think that me wearing the eye patch is sexy/hot, or just basically every little kids reaction to seeing me, I may consider wearing the eye patch even when my vision is fixed


    Why is my overall attitude is so good after having my life flipped upside down? I was living my lifelong dreams of racing, working a great paying job, being able to drive an F-ing street car or having to relearn basically everything that people take for granted, and the list goes on! Sarah, actually thinks that I should help all our soldiers coming home with brain injuries with my overall positive attitude!? I don't know what I'll be doing in the future, but I do want to help people with their problems! I would always inform whoever that they can't just go by what the doctors that say they can't or won't be able to do anymore. The doctors may be right, but they'll need to prove it to themselves that they "can't". I don't personally live by the doctors saying that "I won't/can't", so while they may be right, I'll try 110% to prove them wrong!

    And if I do get hurt doing something that the doctors told me not to do, then I can blame my brain injury haha


    Brian
    Last edited by Brian331; 06.29.14 at 3:06 PM. Reason: my brain injury affected writing skills haha!

  9. #289
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    Brain injury exvuse.... Hmmmm.... I haven't tried that one on the wife.... yet.... Oh, Ya...
    She'll Definitely believe me on that one ! Keep Smiling !!!
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  10. #290
    Contributing Member TimH's Avatar
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    I can hear Flip Wilson now: "The Trauma made me do it!"
    Caldwell D9B - Sold
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    RF94 Monoshock - here goes nothin'

  11. #291
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys......


    Sorry that I keep bringing this thread back up!



    My father found this picture himself yesterday that he forgot about, so it was my first time even seeing this picture! By looking at the left side of my face it really shows how my TBI affected my left side. Lucky for me my face isn't that limp anymore. However, I do still have some issues that I have to deal with daily......

    Both my hands and feet still have a pins and needles feeling like they just woke up.

    I still wear gloves to bed every night! If you actually touched my hands they'd be warm, but there cold to my brain. I wear them even in the summer to bed, not just winter.

    I yawn seriously a hundred times a day because of the severity of my brain injury. When I yawn it forces my left arm to bend at my elbow, so I always have to hold it straight!

    My right leg from my thigh to my knee always feels cold like my hands do even in the summer. Even if it's a 100 degrees outside they both feel cold to my brain, so they are both a lot worse if it's actually cold out!

    While I can actually pee now, I do still have issues. I can stand in front of the toilet for minutes sometimes without even going a drop. Being there isn't any on/off to use when taking a leak, so the signal from my brain to my bladder is really slow!

    I still have problems walking down hill. I can only say that me walking down hill, is like leaving your car out of gear in neutral. I have to pace myself because my body weight alone wants to pull me faster. The steeper the hill the worse it is!

    I have to catch my balance from falling tons of times a day. While I've never actually lost my balance causing me to fall thankfully, if I didn't catch myself I would fall.

    You ever go to your doctor and he asks you to stand up and close your eyes, so he can see if you can hold your balance? I lost my balance twice while taking a shower. I now have to keep my elbow touching the shower wall constantly when washing my face/hair, and that's so I know where I am.

    Every time I get out of a car it feels like I'm extremely drunk. I get that drunk feeling for the first few hundred yards, until I walk off the feeling.


    There are more daily things I'm sure but just can't remember! Sure some of those things may not seem like that big of a deal at all, but I have to deal with ALL those things daily!! My neurologist told me it could take over 5 years for my brain to completely heal, if it completely heals, so I've just gotten use to those things!

    Oh....and my vision is still screwed up, so I still can't drive a F-ing street car. I haven't driven a street car since 6/8/12, so I not only miss racing, but I miss driving in general

    After all those problems and losing my near perfect 20/10 vision I still have no regrets!! Most people never come close to living their dreams of anything, so I am thankful/blessed for living my dreams of racing! Maybe it's because of my brain injury I'm still thankful haha


    Brian
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  12. #292
    Contributing Member iamuwere's Avatar
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    Default Brian Copperthite: Injury Updates

    Don't worry, Brian, probably at least half of the members here stand in front of the toilet for minute with nothing happening as well!

    Seriously, keep up the fight. You are doing so much better than most TBI because of your will to confront the problems.

  13. #293
    Contributing Member blackbmwk1200r's Avatar
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    Hi Brian,

    Everybody's journey is different and sometimes we tend to focus more on things we can't do than those that we can. I know that you can continue to be an inspiration to us here on the forum so please keep posting. If we each just pause for a moment every day to consider your courage and determination we can all be better equipped to deal with the challenges we face each day. I read your every post, often more than once. Thank you for being an inspiration.

    Sid Smith
    Last edited by blackbmwk1200r; 06.29.14 at 10:12 PM. Reason: i messed up

  14. #294
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    Maybe that self driving Google Mobile ain't such a bad idea after all ?

    You've got a lot to deal with and you do it with an incredibly positive attitude ! You are making tremendous progress !

    Keep Smiling ! Laughter is good medicine !
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  15. #295
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys.....


    I truly appreciate everybody's kind thoughts in their posts! I will keep every card that you all sent to me after my accident. I always knew that racing was extremely dangerous, even possibly fatal, but I never could have prepared for the current situation I'm in! I have been around watching SCCA racing my entire life, and have never heard of a driver ending up in a coma or the police having to be calling for an accident before mine I always just assumed that I was excepting the risk of racing injuries or death by just showing up that day. I also never knew about the SCCA benefits provided if needed either? My dad was given a SCCA benefits card before he even left the track the day of my accident, and was told that I would be covered up to a million dollars! So rest easy guys knowing that the SCCA will stand behind you if needed!

    And why I doing so well physically due to my "massive" brain injury? Remember the doctor told me that my brain injury was "massive". Yes, my positive attitude is being driven by doctors telling me I "can't" do something, but positive attitude won't reverse any permanent damage done in ones accident. That is why I said before that MS may be better off dying from his brain injuries. I listed most of my current issues that I still deal with daily, and I was in a coma for 23 days. MS was in a coma for 6 months!!! I truly can't imagine what his physical issues will be like! If anyone of you guys looked up severe brain injuries on Youtube you might be shocked in what you see. If the title of the video didn't say it was to do with TBI, than you'd think it was about a person with down syndrome not a brain injury. It is because of my physical turnaround in just a 2 years time, that my neurologist said I'm a "miracle" given the extent of my brain injuries!!


    Brian

  16. #296
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys.....

    Again....sorry for bringing this thread up again! I just found this picture online that shows my double vision problems!!



    While searching "what it's like to have double vision" I stumbled on this picture. My vision before a couple eye operations was much worse than what you see now. My vision was kinda like what you see in that picture, only the lighter side of the double vision was on an angle. Now I'm able to remove my eye patch and things will focus, but it quickly loses focus as things come closer or farther from me. My double vision is like that picture only when I'm looking out both eyes at once, so you can see why I wear an eye patch! I can switch the eye patch over either eye and my vision is fine, so as long as one is covered, I'm fine. My vision is like that for everything in ones current vision i.e trees, cars passing by, lines in the road or even the birds flying by! Everything!!!! It looks like I'll probably be remaining a pirate for awhile. haha


    My crash was on 6/8/12 and I'm still healing, so maybe racing is dangerous! Besides actually dying in a racing crash, has there ever been a worse crash to anyone in the SCCA before mine? And by that, I mean recovering from the injuries from a crash?


    Brian


    Brian
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  17. #297
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    You get double the pleasure when you look at a lovely lady
    Keep smiling !
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  18. #298
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    I wrote this by request from my therapist. If you have A LOT of time to waste then I hope you enjoy it!



    My life up until 6/8/12 was semi-perfect in a way! I was lucky enough to land myself a really good paying job, that allowed me to live my childhood dreams of racing. Being my entire family is far from rich, it put my childhood dreams of racing 110% on my shoulders. Well that's kinda a lie! I needed to borrow a $1000 from my grandmother for fuel money to go pick up my race car and trailer, but I promised to pay her back. After a few weeks of saving the cash to pay back my grandmother, she refused to take the $1000 back? I then gave that $1000 to my father to secretly deposit back into her checking account without her knowing! She only found out about my dad depositing that money in her account like a year later, as we joked around about it in front in front of her. She got angry in a topical grandmother way, but I told her that I wouldn't allow anyone to give me that kind of money! So I ended up having to put myself through racing school, buy a race car, racing trailer, truck to pull the trailer, safety gear, tons of tools and more. I'm guessing that I probably had spent over 75k on all that stuff, and all that stuff was to just get me started. I had to buy all that stuff while still paying to live on my own, rent, utilities, food, furniture and more, but you understand that part haha! Being I'm extremely independent, I took a lot of pride to paying for basically everything with money saved or earned at the time, not just running up a credit card etc. See I don't use credit cards to live off of. I would only use a credit card knowing that I could pay it off in full at the end of that month! My credit score being in the mid 800's is another thing that I'm very proud of, but that's an entire different story.

    So there I was living my lifelong dreams of racing. I won the 2010 NARRC Championship in my very first year of racing, so my racing future was looking good! There were a few fellow racers that have been racing FF's with me for over 20 years, that have never won the NARRC Championship! I then decided to run in the F1600 Championship Series in it's first year of running in 2011, but running that series was over my head. Then after that season I decided to sell of everything to do with my lifelong dreams of racing. I only decided to sell off everything so I could help my family out financially. No, neither of my parents asked me to stop racing to help them out. My parents actually loved the fact that I was able to fulfill my childhood dreams of racing, so they were both against me selling my racing stuff! There was just no way that I could personally justify spending thousands of dollars racing needlessly while my family was struggling! So I begrudgingly sold off my dreams of racing to help my family!

    Just as I was watching my dreams of racing sail away, my good friend and racing buddy John D offered to step in. John had originally offered to buy me another FF ( Formula Ford) to race that he would still own, but I denied that right off the bat. There was just no way that I could allow him to spend thousands of dollars on me. I then got John to agree to allowing me to put 5k down and to pay him back 100% on the difference, otherwise I wouldn't do it. He then agreed on that so we bought an FF from Texas and had it shipped to CT. Once the FF arrived in good OL' CT we noticed that the guy who sold the car didn't understand what he had or was selling. We thought we were buying was a Swift DB3, in which there were hundreds of, but after looking at the serial number on the chassis we noticed it was a 1991 Swift DB3. Now they only made 6 1991 DB3's so we were extremely lucky to own 1 of the 6 cars ever made! We later found out that 1 of the 6 was completely totaled, so we really had 1 of 5 left in the entire world, so we both felt like we hit the lottery in certain respects! Now My dreams were alive and well with a lot better race car than before when I won the NARRC Championship, so I was very excited about the upcoming 2012 season!

    So after I put thousands into to car to get it ready for racing during the off season of 2011, it was now ready for 2012 season! I then got an email telling me about a regional race at LRP (Lime Rock Park) for the weekend of 6/8-6/9, so I decided to run a test day at LRP on the Tuesday before the race starting on 6/8. The test day went awesome!! Being it was my first time racing that car, racing on the crapping slicks that the car was shipped with from Texas on, the test went amazingly well. I was turning my fastest lap times ever by a few tenths of a second (tenths of a second in racing are HUGE) with used rubber, so the thought of running in a few days on brand new slicks was exciting to me! Running on brand new slicks are always good for a few tenths or, if not a full second themselves, so I was pumped!!

    So the race weekend finally arrived, so my dad and I packed up everything and left. We got to the track early to get my new tires form Hoosier so they could mount them. After that I waited patiently for my group to get called out for our qualifying session. That is the last thing I remember...sigh! I "heard" that I was cut off causing my accident? I also "heard" that I dropped a few wheels off into the dirt causing me to lose control? Either way it doesn't matter considering they both end in the same way! I sadly crashed right in front of my dads eyes, so while he first thought my weekend was over, he then realized I was knocked out. The emergency crew at LRP worked flawlessly together. I was also lucky enough to have an hospital ER doctor waiting to run in the next group, so when he noticed there was a problem, he then unbuckled his harness to get out of his car to come help! The doctor knew right away that I had a bad brain injury. He knew that because they were having a really hard time trying to get me out of my car being I was posturing to hard! When they finally got me out of my car, they then loaded me into the track ambulance. While bagging me in the ambulance all way to the hospital the serpentine belt blew on the ambulance, causing it to overheat, no power brakes, no power steering etc, but they still managed to get me to the hospital. Once getting to the hospital, the doctors quickly realized that they didn't have the proper medical equipment to address the severity of my injuries, so the hospital then called Lifestar to come get me, to bring me to a different hospital. However, Lifestar was unable to fly at the time due to some real bad thunderstorms in the area, so I was then loaded in a different ambulance to get brought to another hospital in NY. After a few weeks of stabilization in the new hospital, I was "well" enough to be transported to Helen Hayes for rehab for when I would come out of my coma!

    My first 2 actual memories from when my brain woke up, was of my mom and Alana standing at the end of my bed. My first thought when I saw Alana was "what the F is she doing here?". I didn't hate Alana at all, but we weren't talking even as friends at the time. Alana told me that she would hold my hand and apologize to me for the way things ended between us, and that she really loved me! I never had a single girlfriend ever say that they loved me, so that was something that I always wanted to hear. I have no doubt in my mind that is why god allowed Alana to come into my life, too wake me up from my coma. Anyway, my next thought was when I looked over my right shoulder and seeing all the machines was "what the F am I doing here?" haha! Anyway, once I realized how and why I ended up at HH hospital I needed to start retraining myself on basically everything! Everything was progressing good with my physical rehab IMO, but I would try even harder so I could give Alana a positive report! Then things started to happen between me and Alana...

    I actually started dating Alana before I ever even got discharged from the hospital. We would kiss, make out and ever talk about sex before I got released. Things started off real good IMO but that quickly faded fast. In one months time we weren't dating anymore? Why? I can only assume that my TBI injuries were too much for her to handle so she just decided to end it? I now can now see some of the complete BS I was putting her through, or the absolute ridiculous questions I would ask her! Me asking her crazy things wasn't something I would ever say, or even ask any girl ever, but I assume my those questions and my condition was too much for her? Or I let her down in other ways? Being she knew I had a problem with obsessing because or my TBI, her just leaving the way she did kicked it into overdrive. I was pissed for a long time about the way she just left, but then it became 'oh so clear' to me why god brought her into my life. See Alana is the HR manager at my last job, so I would never be able to be around her while she dates another guy! Then I factor in 3 different current employees there telling me I should fine myself another job somewhere else, being they thought I was wasting my time there. God allowed her in my life to wake me up from my coma, then to keep me away from trying to return to work there! Alana has her own problems/issues to deal with so I can't be mad at her anymore, but if she ever needed something I would be there for her! My thinking was, my problems+Alana's problems=way too many problems! See my math is getting better haha!

    If me losing everything like my job, dreams of racing, Alana, or the fact that I had to relearn everything, then I had to add my cousin Scott and his wife Wendy to the list! I have never got into a single argument with my cousin ever in my entire life, or his wife for the entire time they've been married, but then the Wendy threatens to call the police on me!? All the problems started over a comment I made about one of Wendy's friends on Facebook. A comment that she said that she deleted before the friend ever even saw it? Wendy even said all kinds of crazy comments to me, like saying "I'm beyond a brain injury", or comparing my brain injury with one of her friends brain injuries (who never even got knocked unconscious) and the list goes on! My cousin actually went to one of my therapists appointments with me to discuss our issues. I asked my cousin in front of my doctor what exactly did I do or say to his wife? He responded by saying that I "didn't say or physically do anything bad to his wife" right in front of my therapist! Then I found out that Scott had told my mom that they/my parents were "pathetic" for listening to me. For listening to their actual son that should have died, but was saved by god, was "pathetic"? I just can't forgive either of them for their actions! I'm a firm believer in the old saying "actions speak louder than words"! The fact that they both traded me and my issues for some Facebook friends pretty much proves what their "actions" were, and all that pray for him **** where just the meaningless "words" to sell to their FB friends for their own "woe is me pity party"! It is just easier for people to just blame and push me away, then just except me for my issues!! So basically they wanted me to wake up being the same old me, if there were any changes to my personality at all, then I could just die instead! I just can't be bothered by either of them anymore! Clearly they chose their Facebook friends/lives, over any family member.

    I honestly thought for the first few months that my great physical recovery against all odds was a curse, mainly because those people just treated/acted like I was the same old me. Like I just drank myself into a 23 day long state of unconsciousness, like I was never injured in a racing accident! But then it dawned on me why those people just walked away? If I was injured bad enough to need medical attention daily then those people would have just walked away anyway, so I then realized that I was totally blessed to have come through my injury so good!!

    So after having my life flipped upside down by losing basically everything, having to relearn basically everything, problems with a few family members that I thought would always be there for me but were just talk or having my supposed dream girl Alana just walk away without saying a word, I'm surprisingly very happy!! I see a therapist once a month, and even she can't get over how positive my overall attitude is. My "massive" brain injury has changed me in a lot of positive ways though. It has changed my overall view about my life and my family! In the beginning I was semi-crushed over losing my job, Alana, and some family but then things became very clear to me. I now devote a lot of my time and money to help out my brother with his 3 kids (love those lil cuties) or just helping whoever in general. Even my neighbors have come to love me haha! In the winter after I clean the snow off our mile long driveway, I then actually walk the snow-blower down own street to do 3 other driveways for completely free! I have found that I find it extremely gratifying to be able to help whoever, with whatever for free, plus it adds to my overall physical recovery too!

    My awesome physical recovery is not only because of my good attitude, but because I refuse to sit around feeling bad for myself. I now know that I need to find myself another job where I can help people who have sustained a brain injury. Being suicides are really high for people who sustain a TBI, I feel like I could really help them. I assume that the reason why suicides are so high is because they focus on how much their lives have changed being their brain works differently now (I should know!), or because of the things or loves they lost. I would tell them that If their not happy with there current situation, that they need to take charge of themselves. That no doctor can make you inspire yourself to do things. That their physical therapy shouldn't stop once the therapist leaves, that they should always push themselves for a quicker improvement. And that they should never let any doctor tell them that "they can't" or "won't" be able to do certain things anymore, or anymore properly. Maybe the doctor may be right? But you should try 110% harder to prove to yourself that you "can't", then you'll know for sure if you can or "can't"!!

    I now fully understand that I'm in control of my life and how well I heal. I now know that I have got to this point of my recovery without any help from the people from the people Scott, Wendy or Alana who just walked away at the worst time, so I'll continue on without them! Me dating Alana so early on was an accident waiting to happen! I couldn't even walk properly to be dating anyone, so the fear of her leaving or letting her down sexually was to much to deal with, at the "worst time". If I ever did run into her somewhere, which is extremely doubtful, she would be shocked! It would be like her meeting a totally different guy. And why did Scott and Wendy just trade me for Facebook? I have no interest in trying to resolve things with them, and I'll find myself a better more fulfilling job! Ametek will never fully know or understand the employee they lost. I worked there for close to 5 years not only having perfect attendance every year, but not ever coming in late once either. Not only could I do certain jobs in all 3 of their building, but I was always doing extra things for them that they never asked me to do, so they'll never know! If I ever wrote to them listing all the things I use to do for them without them asking, then it would look like I'm trying to sell them on a possible return. Being I have heard from a couple of current employees at Ametek telling me that my replacement really sucks, I'll assume they already know!

    So I would tell whoever, that their in control of their own life! Instead of looking at how bad things may be now or the people who may have let you down, try thinking about it from both sides, instead of just focusing on the negative. For me, I was living my dreams of racing that was achieved by my own hard work! So in the beginning I choose to think about how many times I cheated death growing up, than focusing my thoughts on my freak accident. Now when people say "good morning" to me, I respond "it's always good when I wake up in the morning". As far as Scott and Wendy? I can't/won't worry about them anymore! It has become painfully clear that they choose their Facebook friends that are stupid enough to believing them just hearing their side, over any family (quoting Scott and Wendy "brain injury or not") member. As far as Alana? As of 2009 there are 6,790,062,216 people in the world, in which 49.75% are females! Alana may hold a special place in my heart, but there are millions of other possible girls that could make me equally as happy as she did!! I wish her nothing but the best in what life can offer, but she'll never hear from me again. If we ever talked even as friends months/years down the road, then it will be because she contacted me! I did few a few efforts in trying to at least be her friend again with no luck, so I surrender haha!

    To sum up my life since my freak crash, I'm extremely happy! It wasn't "your time" people tell me. I always respond that "I don't know what is better waiting for me, or when the better will happen, but the thought of better drives my determination to beat my odds" Maybe the accident that should have killed me, that flipped my life upside down, is the "better" I refer too? In spite having a few disgruntled family members and Alana walking away from me at the worst possible time, I feel extremely fortunate! I only got to this point of my life/recovery from my sheer determination to beat these odds and my parents help, not from any of those people who let me down! My old job at Ametek will be missed, but there is clearly a better more fulfilling job waiting for me. I personally don't care if my "fulfilling" new job doesn't really pay me good, being me just helping people will be payment enough. And the old saying about "your parents are your best friend" is completely true. My parents really are my best friends who I can count on for anything/everything so with there help, I have no...zip....zero regrets for actually getting to live my childhood dreams of racing, or the issues I had or still have from my TBI. I honestly feel like my TBI is a blessing in a way. It allowed me to open my eyes to a lot of different things and people in my life! Having listed the things I lost or had to go through since my crash, I find myself extremely fortunate to be in my current situation!
    Last edited by Brian331; 10.04.14 at 12:05 PM.

  19. #299
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys....

    It was an interesting week for me. This post however will be muuuuch shorter! I only post about my condition etc, because I assume you all would want to know? If you don't want me to talk about it anymore, just let me know!


    I assume I informed everyone that I was having these strange "heart beat like sensations" in my head? It actually feels like my brain is moving when that sensation happen (I know it's not actually moving) while it isn't painful to me, it is EXTREMELY uncomfortable!! These sensations have been happening A LOT everyday since my crash, but it's much worst when I'm upset! I have had 2 MRI's and 2 CT scans because of these sensations, but they haven't shown anything.

    I was referred to an ear/nose/throat specialist by my primary physician because of these sensations. I have since found out that basically everything on a persons head has an effect on their brain? Anyway, after doing a long hearing test, the doctor told me that I have some "substantial" inner ear damage on my left side! Now he believes that because I have issues with my balance after riding in a car, that he thinks my brain thinks it's still moving even though I'm not. Who knew brains were so complex? He then told me that I should see this balance therapist?

    Now when I went to see her I left rather excited, because she was telling me that she understood my issues! Time will tell I guess....fingers crossed!

    Brian

  20. #300
    Senior Member Beartrax's Avatar
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    Thanks for the updates, Keep up the positive attitude!

    Have you heard of the BRAIN Initiative from the President? I recently read an article about it by Kevin Pearce, the Olympic snowboarder who suffered a TBI.

    Here is the article:
    http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2014/...olympic-podium
    "I love the smell of race fuel in the morning. It smells like victory!"
    Barry Wilcock
    Pit Crew: Tumenas Motorsports/Houndspeed, Fat Boy Racing

  21. #301
    Senior Member brownslane's Avatar
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    Default We Care

    Brian, I follow your progress on FB as well as here. Brain injuries are baffling, cunning and diabolical! It takes time and continued effort to achieve progress; as you have continued to get better and better it is obvious you have been working hard!

    Dr Norman Doige is a world leader in neuroplasticity studies. His book, "The Brain that Changes Itself" is a great read. I like that fact that the story is told by way of case studies of individuals who recover from injury or damage, often told by the individuals themselves. Some incredible stories and an easy read. Highly recommend it.

    http://www.normandoidge.com/normando..._THE_BOOK.html

    Barbara Arrowsmith Young is a world leader in treating brain dysfunction. She has developed a very successful development program that has had breakthrough results in treating ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and LD (Learning Disability) challenges. As these disorders manifest themselves in similar ways to certain types of TBI, you might be interested in the program.

    She is one of the case studies in Doige's book, as she was dyslexic and "un-teachable" in her youth; she put herself through university by "patterning" her own brain in such a way she eventually could read, tell time, and understand simple differences such as those between "my sister's cousin" and "my cousin's sister"....things her brain could not discern...an incredible story. Her cognitive development program is simple, easy to work through, and very effective. Things like the ability to concentrate, comprehension of the written word, etc are radically improved.

    http://www.arrowsmithschool.org/

    There are incredible leaps forward on a monthly basis as the human brain, its physical makeup and its neural powers are effectively mapped and understood.

    If you want a good reading book with positive messages of true recovery from brain injuries and/or organic dysfunction, go to your library and get Doige's book.

    Keep up the good work....and you LOOK GOOD with no goatee!

    Best, Tom
    Tom Owen
    Owner - Browns Lane and Racelaminates.com

  22. #302
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    Good news Brian ! Keep at it. You story provides inspiration to many. I'd put the aforementioned books near the top of your to do list Carry on !
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  23. #303
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys,

    I don't mean to bring up this thread again. I just figured you all would be interested in knowing, not only that I'm still alive, but I'm still healing!

    My racing accident was over 2 years ago, but I'm still overwhelmed with doctor appointments! In just this month of December alone, I have 12 different appointments scheduled with 5 different doctors!! I even have my 3rd eye surgery coming up on Dec 19th. Hopefully, my eye operation will go well. It will take a few months after the procedure to fully heal, so I'm hoping for positive results! If everything goes well, than I'll be able to drive again! I actually haven't been able to drive by myself around since my crash on, 6/8/12! Could any of you ever imagine losing your license for just a month? It's been over 2 years for me, so I can't begin to tell you guys how dependent I've become on my parents. I have driven a few times down to the store my parents are running, but that store is only 9 tenths of a mile away from our house. It is the first time that driving 30 mph feels fast haha!

    If everything goes good, god willing, than I'll be able to finish the race I started at LRP next spring! I will mount a camera over my head, so I'll be able to post it!!

    Still no regrets for living my dreams of racing!!!

    Brian
    Last edited by Brian331; 12.05.14 at 4:38 PM. Reason: spelling......AKA...brain malfunction

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  25. #304
    Contributing Member swiftdrivr's Avatar
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    Brian,
    Good to hear from you! It seems things continue to improve. I hope the eye surgery gets you back behind the wheel, as wheels expand your world so much. That will feel liberating, I'm sure. Good luck, and keep us posted.
    Jim
    Swift DB-1
    Talent usually ends up in front, but fun goes from the front of the grid all the way to the back.

  26. #305
    Contributing Member TimH's Avatar
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    Godspeed.
    Caldwell D9B - Sold
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    RF94 Monoshock - here goes nothin'

  27. #306
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    The "Pirate Racer" continues to improve !!! You are in our thoughts & prayers. Keep calm & carry on
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  28. #307
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys,


    First, I just want to tell you how my eye surgery went! While It's still early, my eye sight has already approved! I can actually get things to focus right in front of me, within 10 feet, without my eye patch on. More importantly, all the angle is gone! Now my vision is perfectly straight, even with the double vision.

    Second, I just saw my neurologist again on this past Monday. He told my dad and I, that when he compares brain injuries with all his other patients, that my brain injury is the worst! And, considering that I do have some permanent brain damage, that he can't believe my overall good attitude about everything! He told me "that every time I see you, your happier?"! He then went on to say "that your great attitude has played a big role, in the speed of your physical recovery"!

    When I meet people now for the first time, ever, at the store my parents are running, they are always shocked to hear about my TBI! That if I didn't tell them about me sustaining a "massive" brain injury, that they would have never known/guessed! That I seem perfectly normal? "normal"....do I have them fooled. I wasn't "normal" even before my accident haha! Seriously though, after watching a lot of different videos on Youtube, about TBI, they helped me realize how blessed I am! In like 95% of those videos, amazing TBI recovery videos, those people still have issues to deal with. Some of them, talk like they have downs syndrome, have to use a wheelchair daily now or some need daily physical treatment from therapists. That their "amazing recoveries" are just based on them actually still being alive now, having defied death!

    After having lost so much, having to relearn basically everything, it could be much worse! I could be like some of those people, having lost everything or having to use a wheelchair etc, but I'm not. Instead of focusing on what I lost, I focus on being totally blessed!! I have lost some close-minded friends/family members given my amazing recovery, so if I was actually worse off, than those people would have gone, anyways!

    I don't know how to properly explain my overall happiness? I look at it like this. Most people in the world will never come close to living their dreams of whatever, being I actually did, that's why I have no regrets! This TBI is just a setback, but I'll come out on top! Always have


    Brian

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  30. #308
    Contributing Member Roux's Avatar
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    Default Still amazed out your progress!

    Brian,
    I am glad your vision is improving with the surgeries. those are some talented doctors you must be working with. the good attitude and spirit you exhibit, always make me smile!

    Cheers

    Steve

  31. #309
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Steve,

    I never knew, that you could hit your head hard enough, to make your eyes move in different directions! I also never knew/heard, about microscopic eye surgery, to repair somebodies vision!! Since my life altering accident, I myself, have learned a lot of new things! However it never gets old to hear, basically every one of my doctors, not only in awe that I'm still alive, but my overall physical recovery!!


    I owe A LOT of it, to you racers! I have had a few friends, not only had I never raised my voice to them in my life, but their gone now! I have never personally met 95% of the racers, who sent me cards and $$$, yet You have all done so much more for me! All of you awesome racers have proved, that all racers are family!! I hope my injury proves to new future racers, that if something bad were to ever happen to them, that the racing community will be there for them!

    With any luck, I'll be able to return to LRP next session, to finish the lap that I never did! I will do a Skip Barber lapping, with a camera mounted above my head, to post a video for you guys! I won't be out there lapping at any fast speeds, no need to really, just want to cross the start/finish line! Then the track didn't beat me, I beat the track!!

    Merry Christmas everybody,

    Brian
    Last edited by Brian331; 12.29.14 at 1:15 AM. Reason: Brain injury spelling problems!

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  33. #310
    Contributing Member swiftdrivr's Avatar
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    Merry Christmas, Brian!
    Jim
    Swift DB-1
    Talent usually ends up in front, but fun goes from the front of the grid all the way to the back.

  34. #311
    Contributing Member TimH's Avatar
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    Godspeed Brian, and Merry Christmas to you and yours.
    Caldwell D9B - Sold
    Crossle' 30/32/45 Mongrel - Sold
    RF94 Monoshock - here goes nothin'

  35. #312
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    I see You are already having a very Blessed Christmas ! You're proof positive that winners never quit ! Looking forward to seeing you back on the track !
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

  36. #313
    Member jpmacnicholl's Avatar
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    YOU HAVE THE HEART OF A CHAMPION

    MERRY CHRISTMAS !
    Jim
    Jim MacNicholl

  37. #314
    Senior Member Diamond Level Motorsports's Avatar
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    Brian,

    Your attitude is truly inspirational.

    Not sure I could handle your adversity as you have.

    You have one million precent of my respect!
    Scott

  38. #315
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    Default Inspirational

    You are an inspirational young man with a bright future, have a happy new year, we look forward to seeing that lap!

  39. #316
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Default Help!!!

    Guys,

    I'm in no position to ask any of you for more help, considering you all went above and beyond financially, but does anyone need any help? I have applied to no less than 20 jobs online, but I haven't heard a thing back from any of them. No emails or phone calls, nothing at all, it's like I don't exist? When I make an honest resume to post on an online job app, I have no choice but to be honest! Me writing that I was involved in a freak racing accident that put me into a 23 day long coma, or saying that I haven't worked since 2012 because of injuries, doesn't exactly come off that good! When I write that I walk and talk perfectly fine, that they'd never even know that I was in a coma if they met me today, clearly means nothing to them.

    This is why I've come to hate filling out these online apps! I could write whatever positive information about myself that I want, but without actually getting to meet the people face to face, they clearly interpret everything I wrote as meaningless words!! I mean, if I were on the other end receiving such a resume, I would personally wonder if they were really ready to work. I can say that I'm basically 100% fully healed in writing, but without personally seeing me, it's just writing.

    Anyway, I just started driving my personal street car again a few months ago, after not being able to drive for the last 2+ years, but I have nowhere to go now? I get $1600 a month from social security disability, that I could collect forever, but I'm better than that! I far from the type of person who will wait/rely on some sort of monthly income, but I sadly don't have a choice right now! To make things worse, I haven't seen a single job that will start with at least $15 an hour. The only reason why getting that much to start is even a factor at all, is because if I'm not making at least $15 an hour than I'll be losing money, because my SSD pays more!

    If I take a job paying less than $15 an hour, than my SSD will automatically stop after a few months. If that new job didn't work out for me, I could always start to claim that SSD again, but why bother going through all that aggravation again? I could always take on a part-time job, but if I'll make over 15k a year total, than that will cause my SSD to end! I'm really in a lose lose situation!!

    Can anybody help me at all, or at least refer me somewhere, by putting in some good words about me? My last job at Ametek, which payed me enough to fulfill my childhood dreams of racing, isn't an option for me anymore! I was making over $23 an hour with LOTS of overtime, and I was still about $9 an hour away from top pay! I honestly thought that was the job I'd retire from. I worked in the annealing department at the time of my crash, but I was originally hired for the turkshead department! The turkshead department is where I would make the shaped wire that they sold. Making shaped wire is extremely difficult to do, so that's why I was considered a precision machine operator! That, and because I worked off of blueprints, and I had 3 different micrometers that I'd use! I have worked around a lot of different machines that make or anneal metal products!

    I have always been a really dependable worker, but I can prove it with my perfect attendance awards that I got from Ametek. I worked at Ametek for just under 5 years, while I got perfect attendance every year, I also wasn't even ever late to work once! I still have my 4 perfect attendance awards, along with a small stack of positive reviews. I could show whoever, any of the things I just listed!

    Again, can anyone help me? I'll stop writing now before this turns into another short novel After losing so much, my great paying job, living on my own or my dreams of racing gone forever, I still have no regrets at all!! Most people in the world will never come close to living their lifelong dreams of whatever, so I truly feel blessed for actually getting a chance. At least I can say that I did race! It could always be worse for me, both physically and mentally, so that's why I'm always so happy regardless!!


    Former #31 FF,
    Brian
    Last edited by Brian331; 06.11.15 at 4:46 PM. Reason: Forgot to list the things I could do

  40. #317
    Classifieds Super License racerdad2's Avatar
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    Perhaps this may help ?

    Find a place to volunteer. Habitat for Humanity. Salvation Army. SCCA with Timing & Scoring - Registration. The Boys Club. Boy Scouts. Local Hospital. Little League Sports.

    You get the idea. Find an organization that suits your personality and skill sets. Show up with your passion and positive attitude. You'll be helping others and your self. Someone will take notice. Someone will need a man like you in their company or organization. Someone will say to themself, " I need a man like that working for me. "

    You're a good man and good men feel their best and do their best when they're helping others.

    And I'll close with the Man Prayer in hopes of putting a smile on your face and in your heart...

    From the Red Green Show....

    " I'm a man. I can change. If I have to. I guess. "
    "An analog man living in a digital world"

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  42. #318
    Contributing Member Brian331's Avatar
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    Guys,


    It has been a while since I have logged into this site. Yes, I am still very alive and doing well! While my vision still isn't completely back to normal yet, I can say it's at least 95% healed!! That being said, I no longer wear an eye patch or glasses to help with my vision. I don't remember if I informed you guys yet, but I have actually been able to drive myself around in a street car again, for like 8 months now! I don't even have to wear any eye patch or glasses when I'm driving, so I actually look normal behind the wheel. Damn, do I have those people who think I look normal fooled haha!

    Anyway, my dad recently told me a lot more about my racing accident, like what he saw and it was like. He told me that he could remember a few people standing outside of the pits snapping pictures of me in my car after the crash! He told me that he had already thought I was dead, while he was in the middle of losing his mind emotionally, it was then he noticed people taking pictures of my lifeless looking body.

    I am not mad at whoever was taking my picture, as I would've been doing the exact same thing if I had a camera! I would personally like to see some of those pictures that were taken of me, by either a racer or race fan, than I'd get a better idea of what my dad was telling me about. If somebody has some pictures or knows someone who has them, than please post them to this thread, or send my an email requesting my personal email address. If I had access to those pictures, than my story about how far I've come won't just be a story, but I'll have the pictures to show people!!

    Side note: I have become pretty good friends with this lady named, Lisa, who works with the EMS at, LRP. Lisa, is trying to set something up with Skip Barber, so I can run a half a dozen laps or so. Then I can finish the lap that I started back in 2012, than I beat the track, not the track beating me!! Lisa, is trying to set up something with them that I wouldn't have to pay them any money to do it, as I honestly only plan on running a single lap if possible, and I have NO interest in trying to run my fastest lap time. Whether, Lisa, can set something up free for me with Skippy or not, I still plan on running a few laps at LRP this year! I will buy myself a gopro camera to mount to my helmet, than I'll have a video to post on this site and FB. I need a want a video of me running a few laps, not only to share my story with people, but I will take a lot of personal satisfaction by doing it!

    Brian, former #31 FF

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  44. #319
    Contributing Member TimH's Avatar
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    Heck, just drive it in a minivan and that's an achievement..
    Caldwell D9B - Sold
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    RF94 Monoshock - here goes nothin'

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  46. #320
    Contributing Member swiftdrivr's Avatar
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    Like the man said., just drive it in whatever! You don't really need to though; YOU BEAT THE TRACK ALREADY!
    Too bad you don't get to wear the eye-patch any more. You rocked a cool pirate-vibe in that thing. [haHa]
    Glad to hear things are doing so well.
    Jim
    Swift DB-1
    Talent usually ends up in front, but fun goes from the front of the grid all the way to the back.

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